The adventures of pregnancy in China

 

 

Slowly the year is coming to an end and my football sized belly is blossoming in it´s full 9 month gloom. I have not had a chance to write much about the whole pregancy experience so far. 

But you shall know that we have been enjyoing a wonderful time  until now. Everything is going well and smooth (touch wood!). We are in the hands of very good doctors, we feel safe and understood and are looking forward to receiving our little one here in Shanghai end of January.

Still,  living over here makes the whole experience extra special. Therefore I want to share some of what we  have learnt in the past months and  the little challenges we have here in Shanghai with you.

Today I want to tell you about some differences in western and chinese cultures when it comes to starting a family:
 

"Hooray we are pregnant!!" so:

When do you tell your family and friends?

In the West most couples wait until they have reached the save 12 week period. When I told this to my chinese teacher Vicky she just laughed in disbelief. Than she explained to me that in China  you start telling your family long before you actually try for a child because the family planning is often timed with the retirement of the grand parents. They will be the ones who will eventually take care of the baby because the parents both have to go back to work. There is no such luxury as parenting time like we have in Germany.

How many children can you have?

The one child policy in China is very well known around the world. The truth is slightly different. China has noticed that long term this will cause a problem because there will not be enough people to support the "multi siblings"-generations from the past.  Therefore if you live in the country side you can have more than one child without problems. If you are a Shanghai Citizen than the one child policy applies  – unless – you pay 70.000 RMB to the government, than you can have another one.

...and if you have twins?

than you are just lucky. Foreigners are of coarse excluded from the one child policy. My friend Suzenne is a family of 5. Can you imagine the looks she sometimes gets when they are all going out to play in the park?

Getting ready for Pregancy:
 

Paul learnt by his colleagues that Chinese men prepare themselfes for about 1 year before trying for a baby. It requires the father to be to stay off alcohol and various foods (don´t ask me what exactly). In order to be able to still attend official dinners (which usually involves loads of drinking) it is actually officially told to colleagues at work if a men is in this preparation period and this is than respected by everyone. I don´t want to know what they thought of Paul who did not follow a special diet, functioned during those "meetings" as ususal and over sudden coming out annoucing he is going to be a father??

 

Do´s and Dont´s for the mother to be:

 

Make up – Chinese women are not supposed to wear make up, colour their hair or fingernails.  Actually something discussed in the west, too. But here in China you really want think this trough. Only a couple of  months ago I read about a case of facial products which contained mercury causing serious health issues.You just never know what´s inside the bottles you buy here! One reason why I stricktly stick to importing all my drugstore items over from Europe.

Keeping Fit: Sports for a pregnant woman is a "no-no" here in China. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) the mother to be´s are supposed to rest and take it easy. As soon as the belly is starting to show you see many here wearing huge baggy aprons walking super slow. I think if I wouldn´t stick to my yoga practise I would also feel like a wobbling wine barrel by now (Actually despite yoga I probably very soon will reach this stage..)

 

"Happy" Birth day:
Giving birth (in a traditional Chinese Hospital) is mostly a caculated event.

The c-section rate (cecsarian/Kaiserschnitt) in China is well over 60%. The reason for this is not a fashionable but logic one: Chinese hospitals just don´t have the medical staff or facilities to support a natural labour that lasts hours and hours. The women also don´t get as well prepared by their doctors during pregnancy. A cecarian is an easy solution to overcome this problem. It  just takes half an hour and can be planned in well for everyone.
And let´s be honest: If you can make money with 10 C-sections in one day, why worry about one labor in the same time ???
 

How much does it cost?

Well that depends on if choose to deliver in a Chinese or International hospital (where natural birth is encouraged and fully supported). But to give you an idea what a cecarian for example costs: Chinese hopsital: ~10.000 RMB, International ~90.000 RMB ( including prenatal check ups). We are are very glad to have a good private health insurance that provides us best coverage in a very good international hospital. We don´t have to miss out on anything we would get back home.
 

Stay in bed!

For the time after birthing I learnt that Chinese women really stick to their 4 week rest in bed. The family gets together and helps mother and baby recovering from birth. Nor mother or baby are supposed to leave the house in this time.
This I can somehow understand and if I´m honest: The thought of staying in a cosy warm bed, whilst it is freezing outside in February is a very nice one.

But what makes this a bit of a tough time is that if you do the REAL thing then the mother is also  not allowed to shower or bath! This is a rule that follows an old TCM advise, probably going back to the times when water was provided only cold and not clean. Cold water can make the mothers bones (which lack calcium after birth) go brittle, dirty water can cause infections in the body parts which were opened. ..makes sense somehow.. just not sure if it is still necessary to apply these days? Now this part I will definately skip!

There are a LOT more differences I could tell you about. In a way it is fun to sit in the middle and to be able to learn from both sides.Why should West know always everything best?

I believe all cultures have established their guidelines based on their experience and different backgrounds. I try not to judge and get confused but to take the helpfull elements and apply them when it feels right.

And anyway-  if you listen carefully you can hear this little life inside you that tells you from deep within what is right or wrong for it :-)

 

and right now it is telling me to get up my chair,  lift up my legs and to take a rest..:-)